Monday, June 1, 2009


YOU-others, handed me labels and handles, definitions of Who I Am. Somehow, I have spent a lifetime constantly redefining myself using your words.
I'm oversensitive? Oh... okay. I guess I am then.
I'm opinionated? um, if you say so.
strong-willed? ... really? are you sure?
unafraid? ... have you been watching?
granola?'s a cereal. Yes, I like it.
nature girl? ... I do love nature. I also love shopping.
negative? ... about negative things...yes.
hateful? ... I don't hide it well, eh?
The list goes on, depending on who is offering up their opinion that day of that facet of me.

But, wait... AM I who they see? Who they say I am? Do I believe in those labels?
We decide about people, but what about asking them first, "How do you see yourself? Is the
mirror-self the same as the others-self?
Do I have to fit myself, my entire self, into one of those or all of those descriptions simply because someone or someones have indicated that is what they see in me? What if those labels are not at all what I see of myself? What if those labels are only a little bit of me, and there are other parts that are quite opposite of the labels? If I admit to being a Nature Girl/Granola type, does that mean I can't buy something that comes in a plastic container or throw away something that should have been recycled once in a while? Does it mean my clothes have to be earthy, organic, and shapeless? Can't I still wear high heels, lacy undies, and sequins sometimes? And if I admit to being negative, can I also be positive and optimistic, believing in fairies and teaching kids to be thankful and look on the bright side?
I don't like being defined. Instead of, "You're so -----------", how about, "I like you the way you are." or "How do you see yourself right now?" Or the old favorite, if you don't have anything NICE to say...
Or maybe it's me. Insecure enough to LET, to allow, the labels to stick, rather than shaking them off. I don't have to prove which ones apply. I don't have to wear them all at once, or at all, if I don't want to....



  1. Do you know what a Wemmick is?..more on that later. A friend of mine told me just today: "If someone says you're a horse, ignore them. If a 2nd person says you are, consider the possibility he or she is right. If a 3rd person says you are, buy a saddle." Personally, I'd like to think it would take more than 3 negative people to bring me to believe their labels. I think what I like to take from that lesson is more of a "take what fits and throw the rest away" attitude. I'm glad there are some people bold enough to share the ugly truth with me about things they know I wouldn't want to be representing myself as. Sometimes, we need people to check in with...I think maybe the source and motive of these "label speakers" is more important than what they have to say to us. In the end, you are the only one who has to live with you 24/7! :)

  2. Hmm. Definitely a good point. I have always taken what people say to heart, especially if I hear it more than once or twice. But what if the people who say it are not friends, or who don't know me very well? I think I take the wrong people to heart sometimes. I'm not a horse though; I'm sure of it... :-) I know I have ugly truths, but I don't like hearing about them from people who I don't respect because of their own ugly truths! So there. Grrr.
    And THANK YOU for being a writing friend with me! I love having feedback and discussions, and I love reading what YOU write too, in your own blog. Thanks for introducing me to this sort-of-out-there way to journal sort-of-safely...

  3. I'm enjoying this and appreciating it as much or more than you!! I guess if we can't be next door coffee clutch neighbors, we can do it in cyberspace!